Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (Amy Chua)

(This is not a post about how I find Chinese and Western parenting & whether or not I support/ condemn Amy Chua's parenting although I truly enjoyed her memoir and I certainly agreed with most of her views)

When I first read this memoir, after discovering it among a stack of leadership books at my training center's library, I found it hilarious and honest. I then got myself a copy and took my time to read it for the second time two months later.

I was filled with mainly two thoughts. Firstly, I recall with bitterness those days with an oppressively strict and demanding mom. Yes, I had a tiger mom. Afterall, I am an Asian living in a developing Asian country. But then again, I think it is unjustified to relate it to my background because my younger siblings were not entirely subject to the same parenting style. Everything Amy Chua shared was no stranger to me, except the part about playing musical instruments. Like Lulu, I rebelled. I was determined to make her life hell. At one point, things got so bad between us that we didn't speak to each other for a minimum 5 years. My liberal and supportive dad, who gave me all the choices and freedom in life, borne the brunt of the conflict. Things finally improved when I turned 18. Nevertheless, we still have this love-hate relationship going on today. After reading this memoir, I realized I was not alone as I previously assumed other teenage daughter-mother pairs seemed to have no problem getting along just fine.

Secondly, I start to question whether I have pushed myself hard enough to the limit. There are truths we simply can't deny. The younger generation, who has it so easy compared to their parents and grandparents, can be self-indulgent and pathetic. I looked around and saw peers who felt entitled to good things in life without wanting to fight hard for them. Then I was reminded that I too, was guilty of spoiledness and laziness. If we don't work as hard as possible and climb as high a mountain as we can when we are still young, we will never have the energy to do it when we are older. Among the meaningful quotes are:

'Everything valuable and worthwhile is difficult.'

"Nothing is fun until you are good at it."

"There is nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't."

The Wild Goose (Mori Ōgai)

" The story is narrated by a friend and fellow student of the hero, Okada. It introduces us to three quite distinct though interrelated worlds of the Tokyo in the 1870s and 1880s. First is that of the students in the Tokyo University Medical Department - a world of young men living in cramped student boardinghouses, combing the secondhand bookstores for something to read, practicing jujitsu etc . The second world is that glimpsed through the figures of the moneylender Suezo and the heroine's father, the bumbling and unlucky candy seller. This is the complex world of plebeian Tokyo, where shrewdness and native wit rather than birth and education are what advance one's lot.  Third of the three worlds is the wholly feminine one inhabited by Otama, the young woman who becomes Suezo's mistress; Suezo's wife Otsune; the sewing teacher and her pupils; and the maids. "     

- Taken from the introduction translated by Burton Watson.

As much as I hate limiting my options, I tend to shy away from Asian Literature, particularly East Asian,  with Japanese Literature as the exception.

Otama had been living alone with her father since the death of her mother. Otama eventually agreed to be Suezo's mistress because of her obedient nature and the benefits that such an arrangement would bring to her father when things got harder for them. It was until later that Otama learned that she was a mistress of a despised moneylender. 

" In her mortification there was very little hatred for the world or for people. If one were to ask exactly what in fact she resented, one would have to answer that it was her own fate. Through no fault of her own she was made to suffer persecution, and this was what she found so painful. When she was deceived and abandoned by the police officer, she had felt this mortification, and recently, when she realized that she must become a mistress, she experienced it again. Now, she learned that she was not only a mistress but the mistress of a despised moneylender, and her despair, which had been ground smooth between the teeth of time and washed of its color in the waters of resignation, assumed once more in her heart its stark outline." 

" In her attitude toward Suezo she became increasingly warm as her heart grew increasingly distant. She no longer felt grateful for his favors or indebted to him, nor could she feel pity for him that this was so. It seemed to her that, for all her lack of fine upbringing and education, she was wasted on such a person. Among the people passing by her window, she began to wonder, was there not some trustworthy young man who would rescue her from her present predicament? It was when she first became aware of imaginings of this nature that she started in surprise."

She started to fantasize about Okada who passed outside her window. Although she knew perfectly well that when Okada started raising his cap in greeting one day, the action was done with no studied intention, Okada didn't mind. After their encounter over the snake, she was so overwhelmed with feelings that she wanted him for her own, more than an object of desire that she was keenly looking out for opportunities to approach Okada. Nothing happened as the circumstances had kept Okada and Otama apart before Okada left to study abroad. The character that has my most sympathy nevertheless is Suezo's wife, Otsune whose husband wouldn't even buy her and the children new clothes. Thankfully more and more women are becoming financially independent in this era. 

" Well then, what should I do? When I came home this morning,  I wanted to have it out with him as soon as possible. But suppose he had been there - what would I have said? Whatever I said, he would have come out with some vague, incomprehensible answer, the way he always does. And he would twist things around and in the end make fool of me. He's too cleaver a talker - whenever we argue, I always lose. Should I just keep quiet then? But if I do, what will happen? As long as that woman is around, he doesn't care what becomes of me! What should I do? What should I do? "

In all, I thought this is a masterpiece. It doesn't bother me that the romance between Otama and Okada never comes about in the story. I am especially amazed at how detailed the writer explored the emotional and mental lives of the female.

" For all women, there are things they regard as desirable but which they do not feel compelled to pursue. Such objects - a watch, a ring, displayed in the window of a store - they will invariably stop to look at as they pass. They do not go purposely to the store to see them, but, happening along on some other errand, they will nevertheless pause for a moment of inspection. Their desire to possess the object, and their resignation to the fact that they can never afford to do so, combine to produce not distress but rather a subtle, sweet sensation of grief that women look on as a kind of joy.  

The situation is quite different, however, when a woman makes up her mind to possess a thing. The emotion then is one of intense anguish. She thinks of the object until she can think of nothing else. Even if she learned that in a few days it would come easily into her hands, she could not bear to wait. Heedless of heat or cold, darkness or storm, she will lay her impulsive plans for the acquisition. " 

I have been impatient about many things in life and also, guys I seriously lay my eyes on. Many nights I spent on scheming just so I could get what I want step by step. I also recall being the aggressor in most of the short-lived relationships I have been in. Not that I ever had any regrets, I am just hoping to be more composed from now on :P

The Reader (Bernhard Schlink)

I took up German language class last semester and I am planning to proceed to next level XD What others might not know - my dream is not to speak German fluently (impossible unless I live in that country and interact with the natives) but to be able to read books written in German!

Back to the book, it is divided into 3 parts

- Part One tells the story of how 15 years old Michael Berg met with 36 years old Hanna Schmitz, a streetcar conductor whom he was seduced and had developed a secret affair with. They followed a routine of Michael reading aloud to Hanna, showering, making love and then lying together. The relationship ended abruptly when Hanna walked out on Michael’s life one day.

- Part Two tells the story of Michael and Hanna’s unexpected encounter in the courtroom a few years later when Michael had become a law student whereby Hanna was one of the defendants for a series of trials dealing with the camp guards and enforcers who committed their crimes in the Nazi Past. When the verdict was handed down, Hanna was sentence to life. Michael finally learnt about Hanna’s secret - she was illiterate, she couldn’t read and write.

- Part Three tells the story of Michael’s adult life - he failed marriage and his research job in legal history. Then he started to send off tapes which had recorded the reading he did to Hanna. Hanna had learnt to write and read because of it. The exchanging of tapes (and later notes from Hanna) went on for years. And Michael’s first visit to Hanna’s prison happened one week before Hanna was released (after making an appeal for clemency). Nevertheless, the story ended with Hanna committing suicide and Michael carrying out her instructions.

Contrast to my usual habit, I actually watched the movie before reading the book. And I was happy that neither of them has let me down. The movie was superb (I had nothing to complain) and the book I don't mind to pick it up to read again and again. It is really thought-provoking and terrifying given the description of thousands of innocent women who were burned alive in fire or died in march under the harsh weather condition and inadequate clothings when the genocide took place. It makes me thankful to live in the safe and sheltered world I am living now.

One of the many things which prompts me thinking:

- If someone is racing intentionally towards his own destruction and you can save him-do you go ahead and save him? Should we set other people's views of what is good for them above their own ideas of what is good for themselves?

This was raised when Michael was in a dilemma whether to go to the judge and tell him that Hanna was illiterate to serve justice so that Hanna would be punished less severely. But he also wondered should he act on behalf of her while this possibly could not be what she was fighting for.

"Yes, that was what she had been fighting for, but she was not willing to earn victory at the price of exposure as an illiterate. Nor would she want me to barter her self-image for a few years in prison. She could have made that kind of trade herself, and did not, which meant she didn’t want it. Her sense of self was worth more than the years in prison to her.

But was it really worth all that? What did she gain from this false self-image which ensnared her and crippled her and paralyzed her? With the energy she put into maintaining the lie, she could have learned to read and write long ago."

Moving on to the characters. I had so much sympathy for the adolescent Michael who was suffering for being in love with a woman who not only did not reciprocate his feelings but also manipulated him emotionally. And when she left him unannouncedly, he was tortured with not only physical desire but the feeling of guilt which led him to blame himself for driving her away thus believe Hanna’s punishment of leaving was well-deserved.

"But its results had meaning. I had not only lost this fight. I had caved in after a short struggle when she threatened to send me away and withhold herself. In the weeks that followed I didn’t fight at all. If she threatened, I instantly and unconditionally surrendered. I took all the blame. I admitted mistakes I hadn’t made, intentions I’d never had. Whenever she turned cold and hard, I begged her to be good to me again, to forgive me and love me. Sometimes I had the feeling that she hurt herself when she turned cold and rigid. As if what she was yearning for was the warmth of my apologies, protestations, and entreaties. Sometimes I thought she just bullied me. But either way, I had no choice."

Moving on to Part Two, I started to see Hanna more than an emotionally detached woman who “exploited” Michael. True that she was guilty with the crimes she committed but not as guilty as it seemed, neither was she the main protagonist the way others made her out to be. She was confused and helpless. Her incapacity to familiarize herself with the indictment and the manuscript and also probably of her consequent lack of any sense of strategy or tactics all happened because of her illiteracy.

"And no, at the trial Hanna did not weigh exposure as an illiterate against exposure as a criminal. She did not calculate and she did not maneuver. She accepted that she would be called to account, and simply did not wish to endure further exposure. She was not pursuing her own interests, but fighting for her own truth, her own justice. Because she always had to dissimulate somewhat, and could never be completely candid, it was a pitiful truth and a pitiful justice, but it was hers, and the struggle for it was her struggle.

She must have been completely exhausted. Her struggle was not limited to the trial. She was struggling, as she always had struggled, not to show what she could do but to hide what she couldn’t do. A life made up of advances that were actually frantic retreats and victories that were concealed defeats."

Everything was so sad. It broke my heart reading that Michael was on the verge of crying while finding out more and more truths after Hanna’s death. But I could totally understand why he didn’t write to Hanna or visit her in prison until one week before she was about to get out.

"Precisely because she was both close and removed in such an easy way, I didn’t want to visit her. I had the feeling she could only be what she was to me at an actual distance. I was afraid that the small, light, safe world of notes and cassettes was too artificial and too vulnerable to withstand actual closeness. How could we meet face to face without everything that had happened between us coming to the surface?"

Man, this book is officially my favourite! Go read it if u haven't.

Note to self: Read more on The Holocaust.

Escape Routes for Beginners (Kira Cochrane)

Despite the negative reviews u can find online, I think this book is brilliant. The main reason is perhaps because of the well-developed characters. And their self-destructive nature which makes it such a darkly comic read.

Maria Caesar came to America with her father to search for prosperity and opportunities. But the reality hit them hard despite the hard work and efforts to assimilate their new culture. To escape the daily cruelties they were facing and the path set up for a Mexican woman, Maria was fascinated with trip to Hollywood and the picture palaces. At the age of fifteen, she was lured to brothel because of the glamour and yearning to the screen.

Clara Jones who was determined to leave the Mexican part of herself - the part that was poor and hurt and vilified behind completely and enter a white-bred world. At one point, she did indeed escape it by marrying to Larry Jones, the malleable son of the rich from Beverly Hills. Her scheme to approach Larry, get him impregnate her then marry her happened as planned out. But years of efforts were wasted as Larry Jones was caught having sex with a convict in the prison he worked at. He had let her down completely and jeopardized their position on Las Focas, the island where they stayed. The hardest for Clara Jones was that the status and respectability she had been trying to claw out would be toiled away for good.

Then there’s Rita Mae, the daughter of Clara Jones who was thirteen whom dreamed to escape to Mainland with her Granmaria and pursue an acting career in Hollywood. She thought she could leave the island with the newfound freedom after the death of both her parents. But what she didn’t know - Maria Caesar who had been ill was finally submitted to some mental institutions because of nervous breakdown. She was left all alone.

Okay, so basically that was what happened to the three dysfunctional generations of women. Each of them suffered a tragic fate. Maria Caesar went crazy in her young age and with the help of her Aunt Consuela, she had raised Clara Jones. Clara Jones, on the other hands, became overbearing and the marriage between her and Larry had never been based on anything but manipulation. She committed suicide in the end for not being to handle the truth and perhaps to escape the consequences. Whereby, Rita Mae was sexually assaulted when she was little. One day, when finally she regained the lost memory, she sadly realized that her parents had not done anything about it. No one had been punished. Her father whom had been fond of her couldn’t even protect her which led her not to help Larry out. This caused him to be shot dead in an attempt attempting to flee the island with his criminal lover.

I honestly don’t know which character I should feel the most sympathetic towards. They equally deserved it, including Larry and Johnny, Rita Mae’s admirer. And I honestly can’t make up my mind as to which character I love the most as they are all equally flawed and sick. The storyline is great, twists after twists and everything was well-described. For example, Clara had decided to trade her daughter’s well-being with the hope to continue her underlying affair with James Wright, whose son had raped Rita Mae. Larry, upon discovering the affair of them after his wife’s death had blackmailed James Wright so that he could get away with his crime even though that meant sacrificing and using her daughter. Everyone was so selfish that it was painfully enjoyable to read it.

Back to the reality, I do know of a very closed friend who comes off so much like Clara Jones. But I think it’s very hypocritical of me to condemn her or anything because it would be like pot calling kettle black because like her, we both believe in certain values just that I have yet and I don’t think I will ever go as far as her.

A Painted House (John Grisham)

I have tried reading several John Grisham's books before, but I always ended up quitting half way through. So this is the first ever John Grisham's book that I have finished reading. And it is also the last book I read in 2010.

As contrast to his usual work, A Painted House is nothing about law or courtroom dramas or criminal justice. In fact, it is about the Chandler family who lived in rural Arkansas. The story is told through the eyes of Luke Chandler, a seven year-old boy.

The story started off with Luke and his grandfather, to whom he referred to as Pappy looking to hire hill people to work in their cotton field. With the cotton waiting to be picked, they were desperate for help in the fields. They eventually got the Spruill family and ten Mexicans who would be living with them until the harvest was over.

I must admit, I really enjoyed reading this book, mainly because it portrays the thoughts of a seven year-old on what was happening around him, some of his fears and dreams as well. Luke dreamed of a life away from the fields and a baseball career. He wondered why anyone would want to be a farmer as they barely made money with the debts and all. Like everyone else, Luke had to pick cotton before sunrise till evening not because he wanted to but he was forced to, although he was getting paid for his hard work and the money was needed to purchase the Cardinal jacket he dreamed of. While working through the stalks of cotton, he had to worry about the snakes which he feared so much of.

Upon the arrival of the migrant workers, dramas and secrets started to come into play. Luke getting picked on by Hank. Luke developing a crush on Tally. Luke discovering the romance between Tally and Cowboy. Luke seeing the fight between Hank and the Sisco brothers where he had no choice but to become the witness when Jerry Sisco was dead. Luke sneaking out with Tally to watch Libby Latcher in labor, later only to discover that his uncle, Ricky who was fighting in the Korean War was believed to have impregnated that girl. Luke getting beaten up by the Latcher brothers. Luke once again witnessing the death of another man - Hank who was murdered by Cowboy. Luke subsequently getting threatened by Cowboy to kill his mother if he didn't keep the secret. And many more.

Most of the time, Luke was struggled emotionally, whether to tell the adults the secrets he knew or suffer alone. When he was interrogated about the death of Jerry Sisco by Chief Stick, he was in dilemma whether to tell the truth or lie. Since the Chandler family was dependent on migrant workers on field hands, Luke was very much aware that they couldn't afford to lose them. Therefore he always weighed the situation before he did something. After all, being left short-handed also meant Luke had to pick more cottons, something a seven year-old was dread of. With no siblings to talk and play with (although it is later revealed that his mother was pregnant), Luke was desperately hoping for the return of his uncle. As a seven year-old, he could never understand why the adults had to always keep him away from any controversy. Also, he was confused with religion, especially with the worship and all the preaching Brother Akers gave. He thought it was ridiculous that his grandmother had invented the sin of taking food from the less fortunate when he was found of taking the Mexicans' tortilla. " As Baptists, we were never short on sins to haunt us."

With the men worrying and fretting about the weather and cotton prices, another character that I liked a lot is Luke's mother. Being born as a city girl, she was determined to flee the farm life, have a house in a town/ city with indoor plumbing. She also made sure that she brainwashed Luke into not staying on the farm. She got her dream when heavy downpours started to hit Black Oak and the Chandler's fields were flooded. The Spruills left after their daughter, Tally was running off with a Mexican, Cowboy. The Mexicans were dismissed to other farms where they were still needed. Because of the bad weather and the crop failure, Luke and his parents had to move North to find job to help erasing the debts. Before their departure, Luke with the help of the Mexicans had finished painting their house. The work was initially started by Trot after Luke was made fun of by Hank for living in an unpainted house on rented land. Despite feeling sad about the departure and leaving behind his grandparents living with the Latchers knowing that they would never return, Luke was looking forward to his new life - attend better school, go to new church, make new friends etc

(Damn, think it's a bit too long :S)