The Cement Garden (Ian McEwan)

Reading The Cement Garden was like running a marathon. All I wanted was to reach the finish line. Somehow quitting halfway was not an option.

The story is about four siblings named Julie (seventeen), Jack (fifteen), Sue (thirteen) and Tom (six) who had to stand on their own two feet after the death of their father, followed by the death of their mother. And it is narrated from Jack's point of view.

The father was not exactly pleasant and loving when he was alive. For example, he made jokes that could hurt the kids' self-esteem and he lost his temper easily. Following his death, the story highlighted intensively the role of the mother who tried to keep the family functioning. However, the dynamic among the siblings had changed - they grew distant. Later, the mother became sick and bedridden. The kids adapted well enough though. They divided and carried out the household chores. When the mother had passed away, they decided to wrap her up in the sheet, put her in the garden and covered with cement (which was previously purchased by the father for the garden). Concealing the mother's death was to avoid them from being separated and taken away by foster care. At last, it was discovered by Derek, Julie's boyfriend who later reported it to police

" I caught my mother by the shoulder, half closed my eyes and pushed her off the table back on to the bed. I avoided her face. She seemed to resist me and it took both hands to make her move. Now she lay on her side, her arms at odd angles, her body twisted and fixed in the position she had been lying in since the day before yesterday. Julie took her feet and I held her behind her shoulders. When we set her down on the sheet, she looked so frail and sad in her nightdress, lying at our feet like a bird with a broken wing, that for the first time I cried for her and not for myself. Behind her she left on the bed a large brown stain whose outer edges faded to yellow. Julie's face was wet too when we knelt down by Mother and tried to roll her over in the sheet. It was difficult, her body was too twisted to turn. "

" We worked like maniacs. Soon only a few patches of the sheet were visible, and then they too were gone. Still, we kept on. The only sounds were the scrape of the shovel and our heavy breathing. When we finished, there was nothing left of the pile but a damp path on the floor, the cement in the trunk was almost overflowing. Before we went upstairs, we stood about looking at what we had done, and catching our breath. We decided to leave the lid of the trunk up so that the cement would harden quicker. "

This is perhaps the most disturbing and dark story I have read. It talks about the awkward physical growth phrase everyone once went through - how self-conscious Jack was about the change of his body and mind; masturbation; the dreadful "talk" with his mother. It talks about child bullying experienced by Tom. With the encouragement of Sue and Julie, Tom even took up cross-dressing. Eventually, Tom fell back into a baby's state of mind, resorted to drinking from a bottle and crying for attention. Not to mention, the incestuous relationship among Julie, Sue and Jack.    

" What was wrong with me? I tired to frighten myself with the reflection of my eyes, but I felt only impatience and mild revulsion. I stood in the center of my room listening to the very distant, constant sound of traffic. Then I listened to the voices of children playing in the street. The two sounds merged and seemed to press down on the top of my head. I lay on my bed again and this time I closed my eyes. When a fly walked pass my face, I was determined not to move. I could not bear to remain on my bed, yet any activity I thought of disgusted me in advance. "

P/S: I read The Cement Garden somewhere in May or June. I reviewed it before I wrote this post. Again, I developed the exact same thought, which was "let's get it over with". Despite how disturbing the story was, it was actually overflowed with emotions like affection, guilt, jealousy, hostility, grief etc which touched me to a certain extent.

Escape Routes for Beginners (Kira Cochrane)

Despite the negative reviews u can find online, I think this book is brilliant. The main reason is perhaps because of the well-developed characters. And their self-destructive nature which makes it such a darkly comic read.

Maria Caesar came to America with her father to search for prosperity and opportunities. But the reality hit them hard despite the hard work and efforts to assimilate their new culture. To escape the daily cruelties they were facing and the path set up for a Mexican woman, Maria was fascinated with trip to Hollywood and the picture palaces. At the age of fifteen, she was lured to brothel because of the glamour and yearning to the screen.

Clara Jones who was determined to leave the Mexican part of herself - the part that was poor and hurt and vilified behind completely and enter a white-bred world. At one point, she did indeed escape it by marrying to Larry Jones, the malleable son of the rich from Beverly Hills. Her scheme to approach Larry, get him impregnate her then marry her happened as planned out. But years of efforts were wasted as Larry Jones was caught having sex with a convict in the prison he worked at. He had let her down completely and jeopardized their position on Las Focas, the island where they stayed. The hardest for Clara Jones was that the status and respectability she had been trying to claw out would be toiled away for good.

Then there’s Rita Mae, the daughter of Clara Jones who was thirteen whom dreamed to escape to Mainland with her Granmaria and pursue an acting career in Hollywood. She thought she could leave the island with the newfound freedom after the death of both her parents. But what she didn’t know - Maria Caesar who had been ill was finally submitted to some mental institutions because of nervous breakdown. She was left all alone.

Okay, so basically that was what happened to the three dysfunctional generations of women. Each of them suffered a tragic fate. Maria Caesar went crazy in her young age and with the help of her Aunt Consuela, she had raised Clara Jones. Clara Jones, on the other hands, became overbearing and the marriage between her and Larry had never been based on anything but manipulation. She committed suicide in the end for not being to handle the truth and perhaps to escape the consequences. Whereby, Rita Mae was sexually assaulted when she was little. One day, when finally she regained the lost memory, she sadly realized that her parents had not done anything about it. No one had been punished. Her father whom had been fond of her couldn’t even protect her which led her not to help Larry out. This caused him to be shot dead in an attempt attempting to flee the island with his criminal lover.

I honestly don’t know which character I should feel the most sympathetic towards. They equally deserved it, including Larry and Johnny, Rita Mae’s admirer. And I honestly can’t make up my mind as to which character I love the most as they are all equally flawed and sick. The storyline is great, twists after twists and everything was well-described. For example, Clara had decided to trade her daughter’s well-being with the hope to continue her underlying affair with James Wright, whose son had raped Rita Mae. Larry, upon discovering the affair of them after his wife’s death had blackmailed James Wright so that he could get away with his crime even though that meant sacrificing and using her daughter. Everyone was so selfish that it was painfully enjoyable to read it.

Back to the reality, I do know of a very closed friend who comes off so much like Clara Jones. But I think it’s very hypocritical of me to condemn her or anything because it would be like pot calling kettle black because like her, we both believe in certain values just that I have yet and I don’t think I will ever go as far as her.

Never Let Me Go (Kazuo Ishiguro)

I knew the library CAIS have it on the shelves, but I never really bothered to check it out until I read about the film Never Let Me Go (starring Carey Mulligan, Keira Knightley and Andrew Garfield) based on the novel of the same name in one of the TIME issues. Then I did some Googling before I borrowed it. So yeah, I already knew about the twist before reading it.

I first started reading it right after my finals. But I only finished reading the story shortly before I went to Royals, which was about 1 week before the Christmas. I suppose I could have taken longer period of time to finish it but seeing that I was left with nothing much to do at home by that time, I could have finished it way earlier either. Like I said, I knew about the twist beforehand, hence I wasn't left that puzzled about many things (that went explained or unexplained) in the book.

The story started off with Tommy getting bullied by other students because of some silly harmless joke he pulled during the art class, and also because of his poor reputation for "creativity". There was once Kathy tried to be friendly to him and that was how their friendship was established. Later, Tommoy got into a relationship with Kathy's buddy, Ruth.

Growing up in Hailsham hadn't been easy. There were so many unwritten rules the students imposed on themselves. There were topics they avoided because bringing up would make their guardians awkward whenever they came near this territory. Kathy, Ruth, Tommy and other students at Hailsham had been constantly reminded of how special or important they were, that they must always keep themselves well and healthy. They were different from their guardians, and also from the normal people outside. Nevertheless, they didn't really know what that meant until they were older.

Mind u, even though these kids were "different" and they were isolated from the outside world, they were nonetheless like u and I when there were cliques, dramas occurring in daily life and they were curious about sex when they had entered the teenage years. But none of them would live the way they planned, either being the film stars or working in supermarkets. And this is because "Your lives are set out for you. You'll become adults, then before you're old, before you're even middle-aged, you'll start to donate your vital organs. That's what each of you was created to do. You're brought into this world for a purpose, and your futures, all of them have been decided." Yeah, the twist is they were cloned for organ donating purpose.

After they moved and lived at the Cottages, one day Kathy decided to leave to start her training to become a carer after something happened between her, Tommy and Ruth. Of course, the three of them met again and spent some time together many years later before Tommy and Ruth had had their last donation and died. Also, Tommy and Kathy at last did go to see one of their guardians, Miss Emily and Madame. A lot of mysteries which puzzled them in those early days were answered. Like why Madame turning up several times each year to select their best work etc.

It is not like I didn't enjoy this book. I did. But I started to skim through it upon entering those chapters where the characters met each other many years later. It seemed like I lost my interest or maybe all I needed was more time. And last but not least, although Ruth was the bad guy in the story, I couldn't help but like her. Yes, she was indeed manipulative and selfish.. but I believe under most circumstances, that's how it should be, especially when u are on your own.

P/S: Looking forward to get a soft copy of the film itself!!! Wanna watch Keira Knightley.

(Once again, think it's a bit too long. Also, I seriously need to work on my writing. And it obviously took me ages to finish a review too :S )